Field Of Innocence
by Bri F.A.B. Nervosa
Summary: I want to go back to believing in everything.
1. Epilogue

NEW STORY ALERT! I've had an idea and I'd .like to see what people think so here it goes.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything of the Harry Potter series or rights to any charecters.

Fields Of Innocence

I still remember the world From the eyes of a child Slowly those feelings Were clouded by what I know now

Where has my heart gone An uneven trade for the real world I want to go back to Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all

I still remember the sun Always warm on my back Somehow it seems colder now

Where has my heart gone Trapped in the eyes of a stranger I want to go back to Believing in everything

Where has my heart gone An uneven trade for the real world I want to go back to Believing in everything

Where has my heart gone Trapped in the eyes of a stranger I want to go back to Believing in everything

I still remember...

When you're young, the world is so big to you,but yet, you only want what you have right at your door step.

You're heart is open before it is broken.

You can love freely, live freely, and not have a care in the world. When you're a child, you remember everything. You're first tooth, you're first best friend, and you're first love.  
That love is the purest love you could ever find, there's is no love like that. But then you grow up, and that love is lost, but you will always remember it. You two carved your initials in the oak tree and promised to be together forever. But you are faced with an uneven trade..for the real world. For the world of bitter people, death, despair, despresssion, a world without love and compassion.  
I wish I could go back to believing in everything. 


	2. Summer Love

The Little boy that lived in our neighborhood. He had flashy blonde hair and greyish blue eyes.  
I remember him so clearly. He used to pick up my dolly everytime I dropped and nicely give it back to me. HE said his name was something...something D or T I think. We remained best of friends till we we're both nine, and he moved away.He never said why, he just suddenly left. 

When we were 5, we both learned how to ride a bicycle. I fell off so many times; I had bruises all over my knees and arms and he took me inside his house and gave me some tea and a muffin. But the summer we both turned10 was a summer I will never forgot.

He had gotten taller, his hair was a bit longer, and it hung over his eyes. Oh, his eyes. They were so big and entrapping, so grey and beautiful, I lost myself in them. We were both so young, we didn't know what love was. We thought we did; at that age,  
you think you know everything. I wrote it on my calendar, June 27th, my first kiss, and underneath that I wrote "Draco" with hearts around it. He carved our initials into the big oak tree in my backyard. HG+DM, heart shaped of course. We spent everyday togehter during the summer.  
We went down to the lake a lot, and just sat next to each other and watched the water. Sometimes it was be dead silent, and then, all of a sudden, he's make a giant farting noise, and I'd start cracking up. We'd hold hands walking home and when he dropped me off, he would kiss me onm the cheek, I'd blush a little, so would he. I'd go inside my room and just daydream, daydream about him.  
He was so perfect.

"Mrs. Draco Malfoy."

I said aloud, I loved the sound of it.

((((DRACO'S POV)))))

"Where were you Draco?"

My father spat at me.

"I was just at the lake father..."

I didn't want to finish. I knew he didn't like her, but he wouldn't stop be from seeing her.

"I know you were out with that girl Draco, don't lie to me."

"YES! I was out with her, I like her father, no, actually, I think I..." I hesitated,"love her."

I could see his temper rising through his cold, grey eyes. He raised his hand and pushed me down, I tumbled down to the floor.

"Never, EVER, say that again Draco."

And he left, his anger building inside himself.

No matter what my father said, I would still see her, I would still love her.

(((((((END))))))))))

The summer was coming quickly to an end, we could feel it. I knew things wouldn't be the same between Draco and I, but we spent all of our time together. I should've known that this would happen.  
We sat by the lake for the last time, holding hands tightly, as if the sunset would break us apart. He got closer to me, put his arm around me and pulled me closer. The sun took longer to set it seemed, or maybe I wanted it to set slow so we could savor the last moments we could have alone togehter. He looked at me, slowly observing me.

I could see his dark eyes as they reflected the light of the soon to be gone sun run over my face.

"What is it Draco?"

"Have I told you have beautiful you are?"

I blushed, and turned away, embarrasingly smiling.

"No, really 'Mione, you are, you're so beautiful."

I felt his grip get tighter around me as if he thought I was going to leave.

He kissed me, more warn and loving than he ever had. I felt like my whole body was melting next to his, into his arms.

It was the most romantic moment I had ever had, and I was only ten. He locked our lips for an eternity it seemed.

Nothing could tear me away from him, I wouldn't let anything end this perfectly intimate moment with the boy I loved.

As I slowly opened my eyes and detached my lips from his, I stared at him, stared straight into his brilliant eyes that reflected the image of mine. But then I saw another pair of eyes, as cold and grey as Draco's; his father.

His voice broke apart our rejoice. I saw Draco freeze at the very first word.

"Draco...What are you doing here, with her?"

His voice was quiet yet intense. Draco held onto me tight as he slowly turned around.

"What do you want Father?"

"I thought I told you that I didn't want to see her with you ever again."

He tried to shield my from his father, but really protecting us both.

"I won't let you hurt her father."

He yelled. I knew something was going to happen, something really bad. I felt a cold tear run down my cheek, why was this happening?

He grabbed Draco's arm, yanking him away from me. Without even thinking, I latched onto him with all my strength, desperately trying to pull him back to my side.

"LET GO!"

He yelled. I refused, I was not going to loose him, but he was too strong. With one last tug, he successfully pulled him away from me.

I could hear Draco refusing, making a fuss and pushing away with all his might. As I broke out into tears, I could hear him say one last thing:

"However far away, I will always love you."

And he was gone, forever. I sat, weeping, by myself. I have never forgotten that summer, the best summer, yet the saddest.

ughh, I t's kinda dull but it explains alot. lol,ten years old? I wish I was doing that when i was ten, lol. tell me what you think.


	3. Forgotten

Phew, wow, it's been a SUPER long time since I updated any of my stories so I thought I'd, well, update. Though I may have forgotten the "feeling" that made my write this, I will try. Also, the Epilogue portion, it's a song by Evanescence called "Field of Innocence." 

It had been years since I saw him. I dreamed about him, constantly, hoping that one night, he would softly knock on my window, a rose in his hand, telling me he still loved me. But what was I thinking? We we're so young. How could we have possibly known what love was? I still didn't know what love was. It was still so soon it seemed. The summer had ended, and it was to be my first year at Hogwarts. I was extremely excited. I tried to forget about Draco, his warm touch, his captivating glares, it was so hard to forget something I had tried so desperately to hold on to. But I tried. I forgot about our initials in the oak tree, the calendar date, the lake. It was all in the past now and it didn't help to think about it. Ever since that day, I did everything I could do to not be weak, to not show I did have emotions, to not let someone hurt me, to not love, it felt like the only way of preventing the pain I still held on to.

(((((((The First Day))))))))

I boarded the train. I really didn't know anyone so I tried to find a compartment where I was by myself. I sat next to window, watching the outside pass by so fast. I had sat in that compartment for about an hour or so when all of a sudden, this giant green toad makes its way into my compartment. I was a little startled, considering, well, there was a big toad in my empty compartment, staring at me. Almost immediately after it had arrived, a clumsy boy staggered him, his chubby cheeks taking up most of his pale face and his blue eyes looking embarrassed. "Oh, hello..um…I'm Neville. Neville Longbottom. Sorry, um…Trevor , my toad, can't seem to stay in one place. Do you mind if I just come in and get him?" I motioned for him to come in. The snuck up quietly behind the toad he called Trevor and right as he was about to catch him in this fat hands, Trevor hopped up onto the seat, on Neville's back, and out the open door. "Drat!" Neville spat. I felt so sorry for this poor boy. He looked like he had been chasing this toad since he got onto the train. "Oh dear. Would you like me to help you find your toad?" I asked. "Oh, would you? That would be so nice of you. And you are…?" "Oh, well, I'm Hermione Granger." He smiled wide and extended his hand. "Nice to meet you Hermione." He said kindly. I smiled and shook his sweaty hand. We made our way out of my compartment. There were tons of other compartments buzzing with excitement to the left and right. "I'll take this side and you can take that one." I said, point to the left. "Ok." He agreed, and we parted. I sifted through the compartments, mostly full of rude people who yelled they hadn't seen a stupid toad and told me to get out. I came to a compartment with the door slightly open. Voices of two boys floated out. I pushed open the door and peeked my head in.

"Has anyone seen a toad? A boy named Neville's lost one."

A red headed boy, looking quite disheveled and holding a wand in his hand answered "no."

"Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see then." I was always excited to see others do magic, but I must admit I was better than most. After Draco had left, I truly engulfed myself in learning all the spells and incantations I could, just to keep my mind off of him.

He muttered some bogus spell, and of course, it didn't work.  
"Are you sure that's a real spell? Well, it's not very good is it? Of course, I only try a few simple one's myself, but they've all worked for me"  
I laughed a little to myself, feeling somewhat satisfied. I sat in front of the other boy in the compartment. He had shaggy brown hair and bright blue eyes caged by horrible broken glasses.

I continued my gloating by performing a little spell.  
"For example. Occulus Repairo." I pointed my wand at this glasses and the tape that held the two broken pieces fell away. Although neither of them said anything, I knew they were impressed. Suddenly, I noticed this boy's strange scar on his forehead and knew immediately who it was, the famous Harry Potter. Without thinking, I said, "Holy cricket! You're Harry Potter. I'm Hermione Granger, and…" I looked at the redhead in the corner, playing with his flea-infested rat, "You are?" "Ronald Weasley," he managed to spit out of his candy-filled mouth. Though I didn't want to admit it, Ron was cute, it a "dirty boy" way. He had the cutest little face, smudged with dirt. I could slowly feel my hold of Draco's memories fade. I liked someone else, and Draco was, well, certainly far away. But a familiar set of ears recognized my voice and knew I had changed.

EE! Sorry that was extremely boring but I had to make it make sense ya know? Please tell me what you think. Don't worry, it won't be this, well, boring and safe and censored. There's LOTSSS more teen angst coming.


	4. I Know You're Still There

((((DRACO'S POV))))

"Is that…her?" I wondered to myself. Felt like aged since I had seen her. Her beautiful smile, her untamed but so gorgeous hair, her sparkling eyes. I did love her. You don't think about someone day and night and dream about them in between if you didn't love them.

"You have dirt on your nose by the way. Did you know? Just there." I heard her say. Then, she closed the doors to that compartment and walked down the rest of the hall of other compartments, towards mine. I opened the doors, just a crack, to see her as she passed. It was her. She had a smile ear to ear on her face. What? What was she…? I didn't have time to think. She came to the doors of the compartment and knocked loudly. I wasn't alone in my compartment. Father told me it would be best to have "goonies" as friends, so I got Crabbe and Goyle.. They'd make me look smarter and tougher he said. I didn't like them though, they were so thick in the head I couldn't carry on a conversation with them. All they knew were caveman grunts and laughing. I motioned for them to answer while I tried to hide my face.

"WHUT!" Crabbe yelled.

"Have you seen a toad?"

"NO!"

I heard her walk away, to the next compartment. I opened the door a crack again, just to see her. She hadn't changed. She asked the same question to the people in the compartment next to mine. Surprisingly, the slid open the doors, and handed her the toad. She let out a sigh of final relief. She starting coming back the other way. She passed my compartment, and then slowed down to peek inside the other compartment next to us. They didn't notice her standing outside the doors. I watched her. What was she doing? Without a word, she walked away, an even bigger smile on her face. I got up quickly, after I was sure she wouldn't come back, and peered into the compartment. There sat a Weasley. Father always had a hate for the Weasleys, I never knew why. I guess it was because he thought that weren't good enough to do magic. And another boy, dark hair, glasses. I didn't know who he was.

(((((((END HIS POV)))))))

I walked out of their compartment, hoping not to make a fool of myself. I like him, Ron. He was so cute. But I didn't want to show it. I didn't want him to know I liked him. I always feared that rejection. To feel for someone when they didn't feel for you. I guess it's only natural to feel that way, as humans. I didn't realize how big I was smiling as I came to the other compartment. The next few minutes were kid of a blur, I don't really remember anything unparticular except a loud "WHUT!" I finally found Trevor and walked him back in Neville's direction. But I stopped right in front of Ron and Harry's compartment. Ron was still trying his magic out and Harry was looking out the window. Ah, he was so cute. I finally snapped back , realizing I had a big slimy toad in my hands.

I apologize again for how lame and lousy and boring it is. Next is the one, you'll see. It feels so kiddy, just the way I'm writing, but if you know my stories, there is SO MUCH more to come.


	5. And I Don't Love you Anymore

I stared at the back of Ron's head as we came into Hogwarts. Oh my god, what was I doing? I felt like I was almost obsessed with him. Like I was going to pounce on him at any moment. It felt incredibly weird to me that I liked someone I had just met that day.

"So, did you forget about me?"

I heard a deep voice whisper in my ear. A cold hand grasped my arm and pulled me away from the rest of the group. My body hit a stone wall hard, covered by shadows. Out of the deep darkness, I saw the face I had longed to see for so long. Draco's pale skin illuminated mine. But his eyes weren't soft and warm anymore. They were empty, empty as death. I reached out for his face but he refused to let me touch him. His hold on me was still tight, pinning me up against the jagged rocks.

'What? What's wrong Draco?"

I had no idea why he was so angry. I also never thought I would see him here, of all places. I didn't know he was a wizard when I had met him so long ago.

"What's Wrong Draco? What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. I saw you starring at that redhead. The way you _used_ to stare at me." he glanced at the group, specifically at Ron and then back into my eyes. His grip got even tighter on me, making me shudder with pain.

"No, Draco, it's not what you think. I love…"

"Not anymore." He said slowly. He let me go, carefully, and walked away, not looking back. I collapsed to the floor. Did I just loose him? Just like that? Was he gone? I felt heavy tears begin to fall from my eyes. I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs for him to come back, to tell him I still loved him and that I always had. But when I opened my mouth, nothing would come out. It was seconds too late. He was gone, forever. I could never get him back now.

Short I know. Review and I'll continue.


	6. My Only Love

How could this all be happening so fast? I liked Ron, I loved Draco, there was the ultimate difference. Couldn't he see? The years Draco and I spent together would be an eternity compared to the fact that I had just met Ron that day.

I couldn't handle it; that look in his eye that said "I don't love you anymore."

It hurt. It felt like my heart was withering away like a dead rose. Like everything had been living with till that day seemed so long ago. I didn't want to be there, I wanted to hide somewhere forever. As I ran out of the dark passage, I accidentally ran straight into Neville. Just as that happened, he lost the tight grip he had on his toad and he hopped away.

"On no!"

Neville cried. He had spent the entire trail ride looking for that toad. He had gotten it back not even 5 minutes ago. Now I felt really terrible.

"Oh Neville, I'm sorry."

I tried to choke out while holding back tears. I noticed he saw tears swelling up and I turned away to catch up with the group. I never let people see me cry. It feels like they're seeing right through me, past everything I was and to what I really am. I was too far behind to hear what Professor McGonagal said but as I got there, she disappeared into the Great Hall. I lingered in the back, silent, hoping to see Trevor somewhere when I heard him speak. It was a cold, egotistical tone I had never heard him use.

"So it's true. What they're saying on the train. Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts."

He casually walked to where Harry and Ron stood. He took one look at Ron, one glance at me, and shoved him away. I couldn't listen to what he was saying. All I did was stare at him, he had changed so much. He had gotten taller, his hair was longer, his face was less babyish; he was less of the way I liked him. He wasn't sweet anymore, he didn't have that certain glow that made me so enthralled with him. He had definitely changed. Without a warning, I suddenly found myself walking without emotion into the Great Hall. We stopped in front of the table were the staff sat. I heard the Professor talking but I really didn't want to hear anything. I suddenly realized she called my name. I made my way up, steps above the others, and to the stool. I searched the mass. Right in the middle was Draco, talking to his new friends. I could tell he was trying not to look at me, I could his glare trying to avoid me. He suddenly broke it and, for once it seemed in such a long time, he looked at me. But not just at me, within me. It was hard to look away from him, from the one I loved. He looked away, pretending nothing had happened. "GRYFFINDOR!" The hat shouted. I was relieved to get off of this pedestal where I wasn't being stared at. I went to sit at the Gryffindor table, unable to stop from crying.

I dreamed about him. The way he used to be when I loved him. It's always the same dream. We were together, by the lake like we had been so many times. He was holding me and telling me he loved me. We watch as the sun goes down, peacefully. Then, at the hint of darkness, he is gone, without any warning, without any goodbyes. I suddenly feel so cold without his warmth, so empty without his embrace. Then I hear this song playing in the distance.

"My Only Hope. My Only Peace, My Only Joy, My Only Strength. My Only Power. My Only Life…"

And then, as soft as an evening breeze, the last words are said.

"My Only Love."

And suddenly, things felt so secure, like I couldn't see him, but I _knew_ he was there.

I really don't like the way I'm writing this. It's going to slow. I'll try to pick it up and not make it so boring.


	7. Everyone Has A Fantasy

So it's been over a year since I updated this story. I have changed, my point of view has changed, and my writing style has slightly changed. I've reread through the story and have come up with some really good ideas. Hope you like it.

Years had gone by. Draco didn't waste any words on me, only the infamous "mudblood" expression and even that was too trying for him. He taunted me, and he did it on purpose. He became a playboy. It had gone to his head that he was a handsome guy with a lot of power and the wrong girls liked that. Never anything serious. Just lots of kissing and groping. It was only in potions, third year, that I had ever seen it get physical.

Draco had a thing for this girl named Pansy. She clung to Draco like a wet shirt. Today in potions, they were sitting in the back, close to each other. Since I had come late to class, I had to sit at the other table in the back with Harry and Ron, who avoided Snape at any cost.

I could see him out of the corner of my eye. His lips trailed her neck and chest as she giggled girlishly. I could see him cupping her breasts as she pulled him nearer by the collar. I suddenly started to hear faint moans coming from their table. I took a swift look toward the two and I saw that one of Draco's hands had disappeared beneath her skirt and the other he kept on her chest. I felt a fire brew inside of me, fueled by jealousy. I wanted his hands on me and only me. Not only did I love him still, but I lusted for him. Many a night I stayed awake and fantasized about us together. His hot, sweaty body on top of mine; me whispering my moans and groans in his ear, it was all too sensual to handle. I closed my eyes slowly and dropped my quill onto the parchment. My hands moved provocatively down my chest to my thighs. They quivered at the thought of him touching me like that. I felt my hands go to my inner thighs and my heart started to pound harder. But just as I was about to make an incredibly bold move, class was dismissed. Pansy got up off the stool and adjusted her skirt and Draco rubbed his hand on his robe. They walked out together, his hand dangerously low on her hip. I collected my things and left, feeling slightly embarrassed but still very hot.

Turn-on my friends. Review.


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